I have been thinking about this post for a while, wondering if I should say anything. I don't know how many people were wondering or even care about my 'somewhat' absence lately.
I can't say that I have ever been a great blogger. I had a different blog for about 6 years that just sat there, partially because of little to no direction of the content. This blog is something I wanted to keep up because of my passion for vegan food, animals and health issues, but when something hurts me, I tend to hermit myself and lick my wounds.
Let's just say that these past few months have been quite a challenge. People say things happen in threes. I don't necessarily believe that, but it recently happened to me.
I don't mention him a lot on this blog, but my wonderful, squishy, fluffy, adorable cat "Munch" got very very sick and I had to put him down on Valentine's Day (of all days). Before I did however, he and I went through a month of vet visits and medications and a lot of crying. He had developed, like his twin sister two years prior, congestive heart failure. Devastated doesn't even cover how I felt.
He was my buddy, my diary and my friend. I didn't consider him a pet. As many of you know who are animal lovers and have little fur faces in your lives, he was family. He is now with his sister napping, stretching and being wonderful. I miss him and Sweetpea SO much.
I can't say that I have the heart to go out and get another animal, but I know one will come to me when we both need each other. Right now my heart aches too much to think about it.
In March my grandmother passed away, a week before Easter. She has been in a home for the past 5 years, but has been very healthy. I assumed she would outlive us all. She was an amazing person that I looked up to and have had her voice of reason in my head for my whole life. We lost my grandfather two years prior, so the wounds are still fresh. She was my last living grandparent and the hole left is quite vast.
Family is so important to me and being away from them is very hard. When I hear of co-workers and friends plans of family dinners and brunches, it makes me so jealous. I wish that I could be closer, but my work keeps me here. I speak to my parents every week, but that does not come close to what I crave.
Most recently, PC (my ex if you have read past posts) lost his mother. She had developed ALS about 7 years ago and was finally put into a care facility last year. PC moved back to his home province to take care of her. He stayed with her for 14 hours a day, making sure she was comfortable and able to breathe. For those of you who do not know Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), sometimes called Lou Gehrig's
disease, is a rapidly progressive, invariably fatal neurological
disease that attacks the nerve cells responsible for controlling voluntary muscles. The disease belongs to a group of disorders known as motor neuron diseases, which are characterized by the gradual degeneration and death of motor neurons.
Even though PC and I have been apart for almost 3 years, his parents and I have kept in touch. They were always sending me cards and we exchanged emails. She will be missed dearly, such a wonderful woman.
So there you have it... sprinkle in a lot of work stress and that has been my life the past few months. I have tried to stay positive and very very grateful for everything in my life. I know people go through this every day and some have it far far worse than me, but I am done with this stress! I even have developed quite a few gray hairs in the process... I am 'learning' to accept them :)
I am now on a new journey of learning to keep stress at bay and having gratitude for my life that is unfolding in crazy wonderful ways. I would not trade having the three souls mentioned above in my life and I am a better person for knowing them. I am slowly learning that even though they are physically gone, the love I have for them lives on.